


Identity

by Primarina (sherlockstummy)



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Aromantic, Aromantic Character, Asexual Character, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, F/M, Minor Original Character(s), dan is happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-28
Updated: 2017-03-28
Packaged: 2018-10-12 08:07:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10486164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sherlockstummy/pseuds/Primarina
Summary: Dan knows what he is, and he doesn't care what anyone has to say about it, thank you.//Based on headcanons that I had, and not (entirely) on truth. Please don't get mad at me, okay? I wrote this because I feel sad for Danny sometimes, and I just want him to be happy however he chooses to live his life.//





	

Dan is demisexual. And it sounds like such a prissy word for a man with a dirty mind who jumps around in Spandex singing about dicks, but it’s the truth.

Sure, he could play the part with his friends when they were horny teenagers. And he had his fair share of fantasies about various lady loves, fucking into his fist at the thought, but all of his fantasies were always twinged with…affection. There was always some feeling that he knew the girl he was fantasizing about, knew just what she liked, and, more often, it was a warm smile, a cute laugh, that finally brought him to orgasm more than his own pleasure or the act of sex itself.

He doesn’t lose his virginity until he’s well into his twenties, and it’s with a girl he’s been friends with for a long time. He loves her, maybe not romantically, but for sure platonically, and sharing the experience of sex with her coaxing him through his nerves, telling him what she likes, that was amazing, and he decides then and there, in the sleepy haze of bliss, that he wants all of his future sexual encounters to be like that.

And they are. He feels different from the guys who can just “get drunk and fuck a bitch” at the bar. He finds that sex doesn’t even enter his mind, even if he’s aching for it (because, let’s be honest, he still has quite the sex drive), until he gets to know her a little bit. Unlike the Danny Sexbang character he would create much later, Dan is sweet and caring and attentive. He learns her name, her favorite color, her favorite animal, her hopes and dreams. He becomes the shoulder for them to cry on, the friend to laugh with. He lets them talk about the stuff they like, even if he doesn’t like it, and waltzes along until they find something in common and roll with that. He even tries going vegan for a while because his girlfriend at the time convinced him, though issues with his stomach and wallet cause him to stop later.

He doesn’t understand meaningless sex. In fact, he’s intimidated by the first couple of girls who try to draw him into their beds without even the exchange of names. He doesn’t like sex, doesn’t need sex, doesn’t feel satisfied by sex, unless there’s a connection. And it remains that way well into his adult life. 

He’s well into his thirties by the time he sees the word. At first, he laughs it off, thinks of the silly kids on the Internet these days labelling themselves like the thousands of brands for the same fucking product at the grocery store. But when he actually sits down and does some research, he feels a pang of relief, of recognition. 

He doesn’t feel so isolated anymore.

~

Dan is demiromantic.

Work takes over his life. Suddenly, he barely has time for friends, not to mention romantic entanglements. He’s lucky he has friends who are willing to mess around with him every so often when it’s been too long between sexual encounters, when he hungers not just for the release, but to feel connected to somebody, to hold the girl in his arms after and be so content.

But, his friends around him are getting older, too. He watches the younger ones with a sense of pride, feels so close to his dear friends that they’re like his siblings. Ross and Arin are married, have been for a long time. Sean and Mark have girlfriends now. Brian has a little baby to call his own. His sister’s been married for ages, and he was blessed with two little nephews he loves dearly and doesn’t get to see as much as he’d like.

And here he is, still single, still not looking. And he feels isolated by the looks of pity and confusion he gets from his friends when he shows up to events alone, no pretty chick on his arm despite the thousands, no—millions, who would love to be there at his side, when he schedules himself to work on Valentine’s Day, privately scoffing at all the lovey-dovey decorations and gifts as he buys himself chocolates, because why not? It’s not that he hates romance or romantic shit, not that he wouldn’t welcome it, but he just hasn’t found the One.

Somewhere out there, he thinks (maybe because the media so loves to tell him so), there’s a girl out there for him. She’ll be pretty and blonde and funny and just as into her work as he is. And then they’ll kiss and hold hands and make love and he’ll propose on Valentine’s Day, and they’ll get married and plan for little Avidans. But for all that he pushes himself to work hard as if the doctor’s given him a month to live, he’s not working towards “the One.” 

And maybe he will find Miss Right someday, probably when he least expects it, probably in the CVS he goes to get his prescriptions, probably in some horribly clumsy way, and it’ll play out just like a romantic comedy complete with romantic sunset.

But, maybe he won’t. And that’s okay. Until then, he’s not gonna put his life on hold. There’s Game Grumps to film, live shows to do, people to see, shows to perform, songs to write and record, so much delicious goddamn food to eat. He’s not gonna put his life on hold just because some people think he should be married at 38. (Lookin at you, Avi and Debbie.)

And when he finds the word one day because of something a fan mentioned, suddenly, it all clicks into place.

Just like the first time he stepped onto a stage with an adoring crowd just behind the glare of the lights, Dan feels like he’s found himself again.


End file.
